An Ode to the Girls Who Love Cheeseburgers

For as long as I can remember, french fries have been my thing.

I eat them at nearly every restaurant I go, I own french fry paraphernalia, my family knows to dump their unfinished fries on my plate, my friends think of me every time they eat them, and upon reflection, I can say that french fries are somewhat a part of my identity.

If I didn’t love fries the way I do, I wouldn’t fully be me.

Dramatic, yes. Lies? Absolutely not.

(I’ll get to the cheeseburger part soon, don’t worry, I know that’s why you followed this link.)

Since the seventh grade I’ve battled with the trinity from hell: acne, dark spots, and combination skin. I’ve become a bit of a beauty guru because of this, going to the farthest ends of the earth for the best products for my skin, trying nearly everything.

I say nearly, because the one thing I haven’t tried is drastically changing my diet. I drink water like a cow (look it up) but besides my extremely healthy water intake, I don’t change the way I eat.

I know that chips and candy make you breakout on your forehead.

I know that meat and spicy foods lead to breakouts on your nose.

I know that fast food makes the area in between the brows flare up.

Poor diet = acne. Poor diet = death. It’s common sense that I do possess.

I don’t eat “poor” foods every day of my life – I dabble in the fruits, the whole grains, the nuts, the fish once in a while. I’ll get that chicken wrap and drink that organic fruit juice, sure. When the feeling’s mutual and the mood is right.

But I eat “poor” foods enough. Why, you ask?

BECAUSE I LIKE HOW THEY TASTE.

They taste great. *shrugs* They actually taste euphoric.

I’m the girl that will get the BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger on a first date instead of the salad and pasta combo because I know for a fact that if I didn’t, I would leave the restaurant hungry, annoyed, and unsatisfied.

If I got the burger I’d probably be really tired with a case of the Itis when I leave, but that can be combatted.

I love tender cheeseburgers. I love eating my ice cream with potato chips. I love huge cookies. I love heavy soups and greasy fries and white chocolate and Chinese food and pizza and chicken nuggets and Amish strudels and bread, oh GOD how I love bread.

I have intense, passionate relationships with the food that isn’t good for you.

And I know that these foods are holding me back from getting that toned, Jasmine Tookes, Hannah Bronfman body I crave, but I crave seasoned french fries more, so hell, I’m okay with that.

This is an ode to all the girls who love cheeseburgers like me, who know the effect that they have on their skin, who know the effect they have on their thighs, but will eat them anyway because screw it. 

CHEESEBURGERS TASTE AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS.

Take that, Kate Moss.

I am star-crossed lovers with the food that isn’t good for me, but I intend to make us more Baby and Johnny Castle rather than Romeo and Juliet. Dying is always a bummer. Baby and Johnny were a lot healthier.

“Nobody puts BBQ Bacon Burger in a corner.”

Cue epic dance scene.

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Splendidly,

Kait

 

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